People are like, "What sport do you play?"
I'm just like, "l do spring break. I play spring break, " you know?
They're like, "What are you training for?"
I'm in the gym like riding the bike five times a day, you know?
- What are you training for? - Spring break.
I don't have to be "Mr. Personality."
I don't have to go up to girls and like buy drinks, you know?
'Cause girls go on spring break to find guys like me.
So what about this whole nudity thing?
I heard you hate seeing each other naked.
- Yes, we hate it. She's gross. - It's gross.
- Hold hands for me right now. - No!
- Did you share a room last night? - Yeah. Separate beds.
We've done that before. We have sleepovers. Sleepovers!
My parents love me. It's never like,
"You should get together with Heidi," but it's always like,
"Who's this girl? Where's Heidi?
Bring Heidi back. Where did she go?"
How's your modeling career going?
Good actually. I did a fashion show for Joan Collins.
I did some stuff with "JAG"--
it's a clothing store in Singapore.
- Do a pose. - I guess just-- all right.
Don't laugh.
I'm from Brandon, Wisconsin,
I'm 20, and I don't go to school.
All right, and what do you currently do?
- I'm a waitress. - You're a waitress?
Yeah. I need to get out of Brandon.
What is your reputation in your hometown?
In one word-- if I would say one word, "naughty."
How do you feel when you're around people that are drunk?
A lot of times I feel kind of left out,
because, you know--
because I don't drink.
You don't drink at all? You don't have a beer or anything?
I've never drank alcohol. Most times if I'm in a party,
and you know, I kind of feel that left out feeling,
I'll go and get like a glass of milk.
The guys that are willing to like...
do whatever it is
and treat me like their queen and shit,
those are the ones I'm pretty much like,
"Eh." Like, "You're a great guy, but for someone else."
The ones I usually fall for are ones that have to challenge me
and that I have to sit in the bed at night questioning,
Iike, "Where are they really? Are they really at home?"
I'm only 20-- 21 years old. I'm not ready to be married.
I've been married for the past, like, year-- is what it feels like.
And I don't-- I don't want that.
I just kinda wish we would break up so I could go and be single.
She has an ex-boyfriend. I always find it a challenge,
'cause the ex-boyfriend always has the upper hand against the new guy.
- Right. - "Let's see if I can weasel in."
Okay, I want to let y'all know that everybody wants to be a star.
He wants to be a star. I wants to be a star.
Whoever else is here, they want to be a star.
But there's only going to be two stars-- me and Paul.
- That's cool. - Stars.
- Remember the face. - Remember the face.
- Remember the name. - Remember the name.
Paul, Jorell.
Cancun, baby! Who's coming with me?
& This song is dedicated &
& To everybody out there that's a virgin &
& God bless you &
& I feel like it's my first time &
& You know what I'm saying? Go like this &
& Now this is what I'm talking about &
& I'm stuck inside but I'm letting it out &
& I'm struggling just to keep my poise &
& Then I don't stop screaming till I lose my voice &
& Keep on doing what I feel the most &
& One last hit and then I'm ghost &
& It's not my fault, it's how it has to be &
& That's how I'm keeping my chastity &
& If I had it all I would give it away &
& No idea how I'm living today &
& Line by line, show by show &
& I got these ladies toe to toe &
& A couple of drinks and I'm ready to go &
& Ask me again and I'll still say no &
& Don't be hating on me, baby &
& Give me that sweet stuff all night long &
& I feel like it's my first time &
& Feels so good &
& I feel like it's my first time. &&
& I'm a virgin, but I'm on the verge... &
- Now it's shot time. - I'm a member.
Hell, yeah.
- What's your name? - I'm Casey.
- I'm Amber. What's up? - Amber, nice to meet you.
Y'all have boyfriends? Do you have a girlfriend?
- Boyfriend. - You have a boyfriend?
I came with a girlfriend, but it's a rocky situation, trust me.
Okay, my situation is weird.
Like, he's just like, "Go and have fun."
- So it's a booty call? - He said that?
- Yeah. - Oh shit.
- That's exact opposite for me. - "Go have fun," as in, "Have fun,"
or as in like, "Screw whoever you want to"?
I won't screw whoever I want to.
Like, I won't, like, screw everybody--
but-- not everyone.
& Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh &
& I'm ain't happy, I'm feeling glad &
& I got sunshine in a bag &
& I'm useless, but not for long &
& The future is coming on &
& I ain't happy, I'm feeling glad &
& I got sunshine in a bag &
& I'm useless, but not for long &
& The future is coming on &
& It's coming on, it's coming on... &
Think I should just tune up my guitar before I go out?
- Heidi? - Can I see your room?
- Yeah, come in. - This is crazy.
- I got to tune this business up. - Right.
Oh my God! How can you be sitting?
I can't even sit. I have to walk around.
Oh my God, you have a kitchen? I'm coming over here.
I don't think I have a kitchen.
- Hey! - Hey, what's up? I'm Roxanne.
- I'm Casey. - Nice to meet you.
- Are you here by yourself? - No, I have a twin sister!
- Hi, I'm Nicole. What's going on? - Not much.
- What's your name? - Casey.
- We're just all down here partying.
- Cool. - Let's go.
& Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh... &
Where are you from? You're from Texas?
- What part? - I'm Jeremy. What's your name?
- Jared? - Jeremy.
- Jeremy? I'm Alan. - Alan, nice to meet you, bro'.
- Where at in Texas you from? - Lubbock.
Lubbock? Okay. I grew up in Houston.
Houston. Oh, cool. Where do you go to college?
I live in Miami. I don't go to college. I'm not in school now.
- You're a freshman where? - Lubbock, Texas Tech.
- Okay. - What was your name again?
- Alan. - Alan, Alan.
Alan.
I think he needs the introductory shot of tequila.
- You got a drink? - No, no, that's all right.
- You're not drinking? - No, I might later on.
I don't want to ruin my soberness.
- That's cool. - Did you know each other before?
- Are you guys a pair? - Yep.
- Boyfriend-girlfriend? - No.
- Friends? - Just buddies.
How many times do you think you'll have to say that?
- I know, yeah. - That's cool.
- Hey! - Hi.
- I'm Sarah. - Hi!
Hi, nice to meet you.
Hi, I'm Laura.
Hey, it's like Christmas or something, dude!
- Every five minutes. - Anybody else have a boyfriend?
- Way to talk her into it. - Oh! Oh, thank you.
- No cheating. - No.
No way. Thank God.
- I am so happy. - Single and faithful.
That's not yours so don't touch that.
I know, that isn't mine.
But it's some nice shit though, I'll tell you that much.
- Get out that boy's shit, man! - "Okay, Daddy. Okay, Daddy."
You'd be as hot as a mug if somebody rummaged through your shit
- and you see it in the movie. - I ain't no freak, though.
- Damn! - "Whose is it? Whose is it?
Whose is it, huh? Say it, say it."
- I'm sorry-- Matt? - Matt.
- I'm Amber, what's up? - Amber.
- I'm Laura. - No, this is Lo.
- Call her "Lo." - Lo? Nice to meet you.
Dude, hot dudes, what am l going to do with all of you?
I don't even know.
- I don't know-- fuck every one? - No, no.
...toilet. That little "washing pootie" thing?
Yeah, you know, like, "Trick Daddy" says,
"You don't have crumbs in your ass."
"Crumbs in your ass." Oh, man, this is nice.
Wait, we've got to wait for Amber.
What's she doing?
First party foul.
- I got you! I got you! - Don't play, nigga, don't play.
- I got you! - Don't play, nigga. Don't play!
- Yeah, that's nice. - Hey, what's over there?
Oh, the "sex fall." That's not even a waterfall.
Oh, look. And I'm like, "Hey, hey!
Get up on that ass! We can go outside!
It don't make no difference. You gonna take it like I give it."
Hey, give me some water, dawg.
And I'm not talking about this kind.
- Oh. - I'm talking about the tequila.
I'm a-- I'm a beginner.
I just had my birthday. I'm 21 now.
Welcome to Cancun. Exactly. Take a lime.
- Whew! - Ooh. Ooh--!
- Ooh! Ooh! - Feel it! Feel it! Feel it!
Too many shots!
How are you going to segregate yourselves from us and get drunk?
- You guys did it. - I'm sorry.
That's not okay. Can I have a shot with you guys?
- Yeah, you're more than welcome. - I know.
- You're not drinking anymore? - We're going to the beach.
- Let's go. - I'm not getting in the water.
You are the sexiest woman I've ever seen.
- Yeah, you really are. - Truly, you are the sexiest, truly.
Thank you. I try, you know. I'm the "token black girl."
You are a tool.
I know, I'm the biggest dork ever.
- No, I love it, Dave. I love it. - I'm a dork, senor.
- You're a dork, too? - Yes.
- High five. - Can I be a dork with you guys?
- Wow! - Whoo!
All right, everyone listen up real quick. Real quick.
Just listen up-- this will only take a couple of minutes,
- then we're going to do our thing. - All I want to know is,
- are we going out tonight? - Roxanne, they'll explain it.
- Shut up. - We're from Sun Splash Tours.
We're your tour guides while you're here in beautiful Cancun, Mexico.
My name is Jay, this is Chris. We'd like to officially welcome you.
This is your paradise for the next week.
Listen, you guys, every night down here--
every night we have a party
at the best clubs in Cancun.
Yeah!
Listen, you guys, you don't know. Listen, you guys, tonight--
we have a party for you guys at Coco Bongo,
- one of the best clubs in Cancun. - Yes. Nicole, shut up.
Every day, basically, there's going to be side excursions,
day trips, you're going to get everything.
Every day we're going to have breakfast, lunch and dinner here.
You know, take this all in. Live the dream.
Anybody want to get naked with me?
- Are you talking to your boyfriend? - I am.
Are you? Tell him I said, "Whassup?"
- That's Casey, right? - That's me, dude.
Y'all want to get naked or what?
God, I got to take a shower before I go out, you know?
Somebody give me a gun so I can shoot myself.
I don't think that's a good idea, but--
Oh, my God! That's Brittany?
You look different from earlier, dude.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- I'm going to jump in with you. - All right.
- Hello. - Hi.
Hey, you want to get in the shower with me?
You know what? I took a shower.
- Look at my hair-- it's all wet. - Damn.
So none of you girls want to make out or anything?
- You don't want to make out? - That is so romantic.
- Why not? - My God. You're a fucking nut.
- So nice. - I just want to see some boobies.
No, these are my clothes, Casey.
- Get up, you're all wet! - He's-- he--
- You've had too much to drink. - Casey!
So you're just going to go to the clubs all week
and not drink anything?
I don't know.
Not anything? Not even a fucking shot?
Don't you ever feel like sacking up and taking a fucking shot, you know?
- Not really. - It's like a manly thing, you know?
You just take a shot.
I don't know. I've gone so long without doing it.
You should just do it and say, "Fuck it."
See-- I don't know. It's not that big of a deal to me.
So what's your goal for this week? To come here and--
- I feel like I don't have to drink. - Like ever?
- Ever. - Wow.
- I'm like-- "no pressure." - Yeah.
- Whatever happens, happens. - Yeah, exactly.
Where's the music?
You know, dude, Alan, dude-- we are gonna--
- Alan is so-- - I told him straight up.
Hey, here's the story on Alan, dude.
I'm not going to make him drink, but he's going to drink.
- Oh, dude, he will. - No, he won't.
- I don't think he will. - You don't think he will?
- No, I don't think he will. - Seven days in Cancun...
I'm going to find Alan some girl, and he's going to drink.
Wait, he hasn't drunk since he been here?
- He hasn't drank ever! - In his whole life!
- In his entire life! - In his lifetime, dude.
He said, "One time someone slipped me a little Malibu."
Me and Jaz are like, "Why are you here?"
Hey, let's put money on it. I bet I give him his first shot.
- Oh! - Oh!
& Dirty dog &
& Oh, I'm, I'm a dirty dog &
& Oh, l, l, I'm a dirty dog &
& Dirty dog &
& Oh, I'm, I'm a dirty dog &
& Dirty dog &
- & I'm an outlaw & - & I'm an outlaw &
- & Quick on the draw & - & Quick on the draw &
& Something you've never seen before &
& Never seen &
& And I dare a -- to come in my face &
- & I've got something chrome & - & I've got something chrome &
- & And I got it from home & - & And I got it from home &
- & And it ain't a microphone & - & It ain't a mic &
& And I dare a -- to come in my face &
& It's so real &
& It's how I feel &
& It's this society that makes the -- want to kill &
& I'm just straight ill &
& Riding my motorcycle down the streets &
& While politicians &
& Is sounding like strippers to me &
& They saying but I don't want to hear it &
& "Ooh, baby, you want me? &
& Ooh, baby, you want me? &
& Well, you can get this lap dance here for free &
& Ooh, baby, you want me? &
& Well, you can get this lap dance here for free &
& You can get this lap dance here for free &
& Well you can get this lap dance here for free. " &
Aw, shit, naw.
& S¨ª, senor... &
Don't get me wrong, you guys are great.
It's just really early.
That's good stuff.
I wonder who all hooked up with who last night?
'Cause I lost track of a bunch of people.
- Me too. Where do you live? - You be like, wasted--
In Wisconsin.
Wisconsin, wow.
- You gonna be like-- - A town of like, 800 people.
No stoplights, nothing.
- You never been to a club before? - Not really, no.
- Wow. - How was it?
- It was good. It was hot. - Yeah.
Usually it's not that hot.
- That was your first time? - Mmm-hmm.
- You never been to a club, right? - No.
You're going to be deprived going back home.
All right, all right. All right.
Yay, welcome to the game.
- Come on, Vegas. - What you know about Vegas?
I don't know too much about Vegas.
It's like, I've gone a couple of times, but--
- You've been to Vegas a few times? - Yeah.
But that was only when I was a little child.
Well, you know to holler at your girl.
'Cause I got... all the hook-ups in that city.
Yeah, 'cause... yeah.
- What? - That'll work.
It'd be good to see you again, too.
How's it going to be good to see me again
and you're still seeing me?
Well, you know.
You miss me already, huh?
Yeah, yeah, I miss you already.
- Move up! - Yeah, what up, Casey?!
I don't know. It's kind of weird, because...
me and her, we've been best friends for a couple years now...
and it never evolved into anything.
But, like, I just kept thinking that if it did,
it would be something serious, you know? That can't happen
with her going to California and me staying in Boston.
What is she going to California for? School?
She's going to UC Santa Cruz.
What are you going to do?
Right. I mean, we'll still hang out,
but it couldn't be like, anything serious, you know,
relationship-wise because I just--
you can't do that 3000 miles.
So I think-- I think it's for the best.
- You know, we're just friends. - Right.
I think both of us are, like, really happy just being friends.
Don't you ever just want to get it on, though?
I don't know.
You're like, "Fuck yeah, but she won't get under me."
- Yeah. - No, no, it's not like that.
That's how I fucking tried.
& We need some positive vibes &
& For these rainy days &
& Let the sunlight in &
& Brighten up your day &
& Let the vibes blow like the ocean breeze &
& Mama always told me there'd be days like these &
& Keep your head right, just do as you please &
& Don't ever interfere with an evil man's schemes &
& Keep your heart pure, conceive your own dreams &
& Respect your fellow man, the earth and the trees... &
If I actually have a girl come on to me,
or say something like-- like last night at the club,
a girl came up, she was like, "Hey," and she was pretty hot.
She was like, "Hey, me and your friend were just thinking
you were the most gorgeous guy in this club." I was like, "Okay."
- Thanks! - "I'll be over here."
That's my biggest thing. I can't talk to girls.
Don't feel bad, I've never been able-- I want to so bad.
- You're so cool about it, like... - Yeah, yeah!
I'm trying to read those little subtle hints
- to figure out if they like me... - You and me both!
I do that for 30 minutes. Then finally I'm like, "Okay. "
Then maybe I might try something.
-Yeah. - But until then, I'm just like--
Girls might like me, but if they don't show it or say it
I won't pursue it. For the simple fact
that I don't want to get turned down.
Do you get turned down a lot? Or at all?
- Yeah. - You lying ass!
He never gets turned down.
You know why? He always starts as "friends."
He never approaches them as like, "Let's hook up."
It's always, "Can I call you?" Then he works it from there.
- Damn. - You got to show them comfort.
"I'm just here to talk to you," you know?
"Come to me. Talk to me."
You come off all strong and shit, they're gonna, like, "Whoa, back up.
Be easy." You know? "Whoa."
Give her the "Joey" from "Blossom"--
- "Whoa!" - "Whoa!" Be easy.
I just want to see some boobies.
If you guys came to Cancun to have a good time,
Iet me hear you say, "Fuck, yeah."
Fuck, yeah!
All right, we're going to start this wet T-shirt competition,
so we're gonna need some hot ladies up here.
What about you? What about you over there?
Over there! Right here! Right there!
You! You! You!
Winner gets a trip back to Cancun, spring break 2004.
Let's pump it up!
You guys want to see the girls wild?
Jeannie's coming all the way from Wisconsin. Jeannie!
& Do that dance, come on, now &
& Pretty lady, go on do that dance &
& Pretty lady, go on do that dance, come on... &
Oh, damn!
& Sexy mama, go on do that dance &
- & Come on & - & Make it move for me, baby &
- & Come on & - & Make it jiggle for me, baby... &
Coming all the way from New Jersey, Rachel!
& Pick it up and let's go, that's right &
& I walk though the club with my Prada on &
& Valet to the keys 'cause the car's so strong &
& Pretty lady, go on do that dance &
& Pretty lady, go on, do that dance &
- & Come on now & - & Sexy mama, go on do that dance &
& Sexy mama, go on do that dance &
- & Come on now & - & Make it move for me, baby &
- & Come on & - & Make it jiggle for me, baby &
& Take it down to the floor &
& Yeah, pick it up and let's go &
& Let's go, let's go &
& Pretty lady, go on do that dance &
& Let's do it &
& Pretty lady, go on do that dance. &
What the fuck?
Their parents are gonna shit in their pants.
We got twins from New Mexico. Make some noise!
& There's only one place where we can go &
& To see freaky ho's doing shows &
& Doing tricks to make us holler &
& On a given night, all for a dollar &
& Silicone breasts, oil on their chests &
& Nothing like others, but above the rest &
& They'll do anything to turn us on &
& Them ho's got it going on &
& I like big booty and big ol' titties &
& Bitch, you know you've been fucked by many &
& So come and be my private dancer &
& I got some money if that's the answer &
& I really want to be with you &
& I get hard after seeing you &
& How hard? Hard like a rock &
& When you make that pussy pop! &
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
If you don't mind, they can stay like that.
- Do you guys mind? - No!
Who says they should stay like that?
How many think we should put a T-shirt on them?
- No! - Stay like that?
- Yeah! - T-shirt.
- No! - Stay like that?
- Yeah! - The crowd has spoken.
& Yes, sir, Slip and Slide Records, get down &
- Yeah! - & Gonna take it to the house... &
What's up!
& We gonna rock it, get down &
& Calling my peoples all across the world... &
Peace!
&...all the boys and girls... &
Show us your tits. Hooters.
I want hooters!
Fuck!
& Slip and slide, get loose &
& More punch than a bowl ofjuice &
& And ain't nobody more jiggy than us &
& Stuff so rough it causes head rush like we do &
& That's gonna make you get up out your seat... &
So any girls here want to make out or something?
- Hot damn. - Hot damn.
& Yo, baby, take it to the house &
& M.I.A., take it to the house &
& This the way we take it to the house. &
Casey!
- Don't do it. - You go ahead and do it.
You don't want to see these things wasted.
I'm so excited.
- I'm going upstairs. Here I go. - Go, baby.
Here I go!
Three, two, one!
Bungee!
A jellyfish fucking stung me!
- It really, really hurts. - It's only on your...?
- It's right here. - That's just it.
Pee. Your own pee.
I have to pee on it? I don't have to pee though.
Maybe...
borrow, and then...
Pour pee on it? I have to pour pee on my--
my own pee on my leg?
- Her own pee or our pee? - Can they pee in it?
Go pee in something. Go take a pee in something.
I cannot believe I'm doing this.
Look at that backdrop.
All right.
Don't pee in the cup. Just pee on the leg.
- Let me see your leg. - Ow! Ow! Ow!
- Look at all this piss! - Yes!
- You want some piss? - Here we go, here we go.
- All right, it's mine. - Pour it on my baby.
That's sick. Get that shit away.
- Oh my God. - All right, look the other way.
- God, he's putting pee on my leg. - Move your foot.
- Oh, that's disgusting! - I know, dude.
There's a deal, though.
The way I get paid is like, that I stay in school.
You don't work?
- I work-- right now. - You're a princess. I'm not.
I work my ass off.
Truth is coming out, huh?
Let me guess-- Mom and Dad pay rent, too.
- Yup. - Oh, you're fucking spoiled!
- I'm not spoiled. - Bullshit.
I'm a little spoiled.
If I said, "Dad, pay my car payment, pay my rent,"
he'd be like, "l love you, but not that much.
You're 21 years old. Pay your own shit."
Hey, man.
You don't pay credit card bills then either, I take it?
No. Till then I'm rocking the "A's" and everything else.
That's some bullshit. You're so fucking spoiled.
I made sure college was paid. My dad didn't-- I got a scholarship.
- Worked my ass off for it. - I'm not school-oriented.
I'm just not into school. Like, I'm into other things.
- Like what? - Shop.
Oh my God. You said, "shop"?
Yeah, dude. I give all my stuff to my mom.
- You're a-- one of those. - "Pretty boy"?
You're a pretty boy. "Can I say that without pissing him off?"
- A "mama's boy"? - You are such a mama's boy.
- Oh-hh. - I love my mom.
That's her name,
that's the hotel number that she's staying at,
that's the hotel-- Oasis Hotel.
She wrote all that on my hand.
- Meredith. - Yeah, you need to call her back.
She wouldn't have went through that for no reason. Seriously.
- Hello? Meredith? - Hmm?
No, hold on.
Hello?
Is there a Meredith there?
- Yeah, we're striking out. - You got it.
We're one yard from the touchdown,
and we're pulling a "Tennessee Titans."
The one number I got, I called, and she hung up on me.
We're pulling a "Sacramento Kings"-- what did you say?
The one number I got, I called, and she hung up on me.
- "Alan?" - I'm serious.
You don't admit that shit. You just like let it go.
It's like, "Yeah, this is Alan. Hello? Hello? Hello?"
They're like, "cha-chick. "
- Let's go-oo! - Let's go!
Yay, these guys, are so sexy.
- You're so sexy. - Ow!
Jay! Jay, will you ask me on a date?
- Can we go on a date on Tuesday? - Sure.
- Can we go swim with dolphins? - We have a date.
We have a date. I found my date.
I just got asked.
- Who's your date? - Matt.
I had to ask my date. That's kind of sad.
- That's sexy. - Roxanne, rephrase that.
I like when girls do that.
& Here's to the good life, or so they say &
& All those parties and games that all those people play &
& They tell me this is the place to be &
& All these beautiful people &
& And nothing to see... &
Maybe it doesn't breathe.
Look, it is alive. Motherfucker, I'm like, "It's dead."
& Something is wrong here, I don't belong here &
& Sometimes I feel like a stranger in town &
& And I've lost what I've found &
& lt'll all turn around &
& In a little while I'll be thinking about you &
& In a little while I'll still be here without you &
& You never gave me a reason to doubt you... &
Go, go. Go fast.
There's another one, look! Ah!
& Baby, I'll be thinking about you... &
Go fast, go fast! Whoa, hey! Oh no, whoa,
whoa, you're going-- God damn, shit!
Yo, my horse is fucked up or something.
I caught you a couple times looking at me,
and I'll be like, in some secluded corner.
- I know, I'm like-- - But you've seem to caught me.
Don't even try. You be watching me.
- And I know you be watching me. - I know, I'll be like...
- Suit yourself. - No, no, I'm gonna be honest.
I'll catch you. I'll catch you. I'll try to, you know...
It's all good. Nothing wrong with observing. I'm very observant.
Yeah. You be watching me?
If you're in my view.
I hate the games.
Like, when they tell you, "lf you want a girl to like you,
then just blow her off."
You know, 'cause girls-- "People like what they can't have."
That's bullshit, you know?
If I like a girl, I'm not going to blow her off.
If I like a girl I'd want to spend more time with her,
but I'm not saying it would be all about the physical aspect of it,
but I just hate everything you have to go through.
I wish people were a lot simpler than they are, you know?
Wish you didn't have to be a psychiatrist to get a girlfriend.
Is it true that guys like head better than sex?
Sex is like kind of guaranteed always.
Getting head is not a guarantee, you know what I'm saying?
There's no good way to ask-- like, "You want some head?"
"Since you're down in the vicinity...
- I was wondering if maybe... - "You want to 'bob my knob'?"
...by chance you can swallow--?"
I can't bring myself to do it.
- Why not? - I can't.
Honestly, like, my face can't even be in the vicinity.
I'll be play fighting with my boys and I'll be like,
"My face! My face! Pick me up, God damn it!"
And Paul's, like, really trying hard with Sky.
Oh, really?
Yeah, but Sky likes fucking Jeremy.
- Sky likes Jeremy? - Sky likes Jeremy.
Why, do you take your girlfriend out a lot?
Yup.
She'd probably rather go out more than I take her out, but...
- She's gonna be mad at you. - Oh yeah, like you don't even know.
I think you're gonna be single after this.
I'm positive.
Are you gonna tell her anything?
I haven't-- I'm trying not to think about it, seriously.
I'd rather just be here. It's like, my fucking vacation.
We're both so out of it.
They're really sensitive on their beaks, so when they--
when you touch 'em, they like it.
It's like scratching someone's back.
Look, it's "Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. "
Kisses.
He tried to hook you on the lip.
Dude, the bird gets more action than I do.
I'm so picky when it comes to guys.
I figured this'd be a challenge.
& Am I the only one that hears &
& The tears run down my face? &
& Would anybody recognize at all? &
& 'Cause I know &
& I'm so slow &
& But I'm trying &
& And I'm still dying to know &
& Say you won't leave for the rest of my... &
& I can't have you leave for the rest of my... &
& Say you won't leave for the rest of my life. &
Do you have a crush on anyone?
I'm not vibing with anyone, really.
Do you want to get a piece of ass while you're here, though?
Well, I've never had casual sex and I never will, ever.
Not meaning sex. You don't have to have sex.
- Make out with someone? - Yeah, like just play.
Yeah, for sure, but I don't like anyone like that,
'cause I don't-- I know. Who do you have it with?
Jaz?
Yeah. But he's so nice and cute and everything,
but if I could dress him the way I want to dress him,
then he'd be even cuter.
I feel like everybody seems to have their little clique or something.
You and me both, dude. I hang out with Sky and Paul but...
- everybody's starting to pair up. - Yeah, exactly.
I'm not worried. It's not like I'm jealous.
It's just like, you walk around
and you don't want to just interrupt two people
that are chilling and doing their thing.
You don't want to just join the conversation.
It's like, "You're annoying, motherfucker, get away from me."
This is what kind of kicks it together, as far as female-male.
You got Paul and Sky.
- You got Sarah and Matt. - Yeah.
You got Laura and Jeremy.
I keep feeling like-- like I'm holding myself back.
Don't worry about not being paired up, dude.
I so wish I could just completely fuck everything
and do whatever I want and not seem like a jackass.
Truly, what I really want right now,
is I want a girl to have a crush on me.
I don't want to have to try. I want a girl to come up to me.
- I feel you, 100%. Who doesn't? - I know.
It's okay to want that, but don't get mad 'cause it's not happening.
- I know. - You feel me?
- Yeah. - No girl has a crush on me.
- I'm not sweating it. Like, "Okay. " - Yeah.
Don't worry about it, dude. Seriously, don't let it get to you.
Honest to God, do y'all think there's any virgins here?
- I'm a virgin. - I'm a virgin.
- Are you really? - Are you a virgin?
- Oh my God. - I called it! I called it!
Shut the fuck up!
- I called it! - No fucking way!
What the hell are you guys talking about?
High five, Dave. I admire the virgins.
- Dave, are you a virgin? - Yep.
- You're a virgin? - I called that shit!
- By choice, by choice. - Are you a virgin? You're not.
- Only with one, though. - Only with one guy?
So we have virgin, virgin, slut--
Why haven't you two guys hooked up?
Yeah, you guys should have sex.
- Honest to God, why aren't you? - You guys would be money!
You've always been friends? That's it?
Could it ever be anything more?
I mean, honestly, could it ever be anything more?
You guys are shy. You can't even look at each other.
- You are shy with each other. - We're never shy.
- We're not shy. - We're not shy about each other.
Me and Heidi, no. If anything, me and Heidi--
there's nothing you can do to embarrass me and Heidi.
- All right, let's see you kiss. - Oh my God.
Stop it. You're so stupid.
- I am not. - Someone's horny, yup.
- This is how you love it. - It only takes two days.
Speaking of that, I heard you took a shower with the twins.
I took a shower with one of them.
- There was no fucking hot water. - I heard twins.
No, no. It was just one.
- Who, Nicole? - Yeah.
I hear she can't stop talking about your dick.
- She's lying. - That's what Nicole said.
Well, I'm the only person that hasn't heard.
Maybe you should ask her.
Nicole said you have the biggest dick she's ever seen.
See, it's not long, but it's got width.
So, you know, it's kind of thick.
I don't want to know about your dick.
- It's thick, I got that motion-- - Ugh, shut up!
I got that "motion in the ocean," you know what I'm saying?
What kind of dicks you like? You like them short?
- What the fuck? - What?
What kind of questions are you asking me?
So if a short-dick dude came at you--
you found out he had a short dick,
would you still go ahead and get active with him?
Come on, now. Tongue-tied? Come on.
Well, if you have a little dick,
my favorite position is with another motherfucker.
- Oh. - I'm sorry.
Ow, just hit my knee.
- Thanks. - Good.
You can't even do it.
This is underwater.
Yeah, you like spit in my face when I hit my knee.
& I saw you sliding out the bar &
& I saw you slipping out the back door, baby &
& Don't even try to find a line this time &
& It's fine, darling you're still divine &
& You don't love me at all &
& But don't think that it bothers me at all &
& You're a bad-hearted boy trap, baby doll &
& But you're so damn hard &
& Yeah, you're so damn hard. &
Oh God.
Whenever I write my own songs I'm very protective of it.
Some people are like, "Let's put a drum solo in it,"
I'm like, "No. It needs to be this way. Waah. "
Let's do a body shot!
All right, suck that up. Suck it up.
No, no, no, no.
He officially did that wrong.
- How'd I do it wrong? - Lime in her mouth.
Lime in her mouth? My bad.
- Hey, you're the expert, man. - I'm sorry.
All right, go, go. Suck it up. Suck it up.
Take the lime out of her mouth.
Yeah!
That was awesome.
- That was manly right there. - That was my first body shot.
- Really? - Yeah.
So you wouldn't have a shot with me?
- Huh? - No?
- I don't know. - What about--
You wouldn't just have one?
Alan, Alan, Alan...
You're doing it.
- I'll do one. - Yeah, Alan!
- Oh shit! Oh shit! - Here we go.
Take your lime, get a little juice on your hand.
- Sky, you're losing the bet, baby. - Y'all ready?
To Alan. To Alan, the man of the hour.
Cheers. Lick. Lick.
Shoot.
Yeah, baby. I'm proud of you.
- Water? - Fantastic.
- Oh my God. - You know what I deserve?
- Some boobies. - Some what?
Boobies?
I want some titties!
Lick her. Lick her right there.
Watch out.
- Where? - Right here.
- Like right there. - Okay.
Just lick. Just lick.
I'm the good kid.
- Don't worry about it. - There's no salt.
You got to lick it first.
- Put a little salt right there. - This'll look good.
- You don't mind, do you? - So?
All right. Now stick that lime in her mouth.
Stick that lime in her mouth. There you go.
- It's all you now. - Everybody do shots together.
Here, hand me that shot over there.
- I'm still the good kid, right? - Yes you are, of course.
You are here to be corrupted, young 'un.
- All right, everybody, salud. - Salud.
- So I lick that, drink this. - Yeah, you lick that.
- Lick, drink, bite. - Okay.
- On three. - This is the Texas way, right here.
One, two, three.
Wow! Get it.
- Yeah! - Yeah!
Son of a bitch!
& Raise your hand &
& Raise your hand... &
Hello?
- Hey, Mom. Hi. - Oh my gosh. Hi.
Last night we went clubbing and that was so much fun.
- We go clubbing every night. - You do every night?
Last night there was one with a hot tub in it
and we all got in the hot tub
and got totally just soaking wet in all of our clothes.
I mean, my gosh. The things you're doing.
- Who would need any alcohol? - It's just crazy.
Take your stand. Hold to who you are.
It's really important to keep it right to the end.
I'm the only one, so it's difficult.
Good if you're the only one. You can represent another choice.
- Represent. - Your call will be disconnected.
I have to go, okay?
Hello?
Yeah, yeah.
He pushed me in. No, no, no. I'm already wet.
& Mr. Boombastic &
& What you want is some boombastic, romantic, fantastic lover &
& Shaggy &
& Mr. Lover-Lover &
& Girl, Mr. Lover-Lover &
- & Mr. Lover-Lover & - Oh, not the hair!
& She calls me "Mr. Boombastic, " say me fantastic &
- Get her, P! - & Touch me on me back &
& She says I'm Mr. Ro... mantic, call me fantastic &
& Touch me on me back, she says I'm Mr. Ro-- &
& Smooth, just like silk &
& Soft and cuddly hug me up like a quilt &
& I'm a lyrical lover, no take me for no filth &
& With my sexual physique you know me well built &
& Oh me, oh my, well, well, can't you tell? &
& I'm just like a turtle crawling out of me shell &
& Girl, you captivate my body-- &
What happened?
Got a sensual kiss in the pool over there.
And she just bailed out on you?
She bailed out on me. What the fuck?
Girl can't give it up, nigga!
Sarah, Amber and Matt yesterday were sitting around
trying to figure out who was gonna hook up with who in the house.
- Yeah? - Sarah was like, "l think, Jeremy."
So what do you think?
That's for me to know and you to find out.
I guess, huh? You are hard to figure out.
I'm so good at figuring people out, you know? I'm a bartender--
I read people all day, you know? You're different.
- Different is a good thing. - It definitely is.
- What's your sign? - Virgo.
Get out of here. Are you serious?
"Whut"? Yeah, I'm a Virgo.
I don't know why I find myself attracted to Virgo men.
- You guys suck. - That's the answer, huh?
What? Oh-- I did just think out loud, didn't l?
That Jeremy guy, I don't know him at all.
Some girl was calling him out on his bullshit. It was funny.
She goes, "ls that hat Burberry?" He goes--
His response is, "Yes, and my sunglasses are Gucci."
She told me that and I started laughing so hard.
Please don't tell me that.
How's shit going with you guys?
Whatever. He's hot. You know, like normal.
Like, he goes and flirts with other chicks.
To make you jealous or to flirt with them?
Probably not to make me jealous.
I don't really think he gives that much of a shit about me.
But, you know, I mean, maybe.
That could look mean.
This all could just look mean tonight.
Maybe I should wear a cool getup since I'm refreshed.
"Refreshed"? I think I'm gonna go jeans.
Dawg, where should l throw my "bandeezy" on,
my fucking arm or my head?
What are these?
- She creased my jeans. - What the fuck is that?
You're never gonna meet these girls again, so don't be shy.
Just be like, "Look, you want to come back to a phat-ass crib?"
I don't think I can say "phat-ass crib"
- and be taken seriously. - Just be like--
"Phat-ass crib"? "Yo, bitch, welcome to our phat-ass crib.
Meet my dawg Paul and Jorell. "
She'll be like, "He's a thug."
She'll start laughing--
She'll be like, "Damn, he's fucking hard. "
Everybody's down here for the same reason.
Yeah, everyone's down here to meet people.
When you see them that first time and thought they was hot,
then you see them up at "V.I.P." like, "Can I get in please?
Bless me, please? Please bless me."
Take her like, "Are you down?
Like, "Can you ride?" You know what I'm saying?
"Are you down for this shit? Are you down? Let me know."
Well, that's all I want to do.
I just want a girl who's right there so I can butt fuck them.
Not really "butt fuck, " but "butt fuck-dance fuck."
You don't got to explain. We know what you're saying.
He's like, "Wait, wait. Let me clean that up."
We know what the fuck you're trying to say, dawg.
& I was like, "Good gracious, ass is bodacious" &
& Flirtatious, trying to show patience &
& I'm looking for the right time to shoot my steez, you know &
& Looking for the right time to flash them keys &
& It's getting hot in here &
& So take off all your clothes &
& I am getting so hot &
& I want to take my clothes off &
& It's getting hot in here &
& So take off all your clothes &
& I am getting so hot &
& I want to take my clothes off &
& Why you at the bar if you ain't poppin' the bottles? &
& What good is all the fame if you ain't -- the models? &
& I see you drivin' sports cars, ain't hittin' the throttle &
& And I'll be down to do 100... &
Casey making out with a girl's cooter.
Whoa, whoa, wait.
&...Ashtray, flip gate, time to spark it &
& Gucci collar for dollar, got out and walked it... &
- Is that me? - Yeah.
Oh fantastic.
It might be the alcohol talking, but you're hot.
What's that?
- You are hot. - Thank you.
& I got secrets, can't leave Cancun-- &
& So take it off like you're home alone &
& You know, dance in front of the mirror while you're on the phone &
& Checkin' your reflection and tellin' your best friend &
& Like, "Girl, I think my butt gettin' big" &
- & It's getting hot in here & - & So hot &
& So take off all your clothes... &
I want to put my feet kind of in the water.
- Like sit on the edge. - Want to get stung again?
- I don't want to get stung again. - All right.
My voice is kinda like, easily coming back now.
I want to get this stupid tattoo off me.
Why'd you do that?
I didn't mean-- the guy's like, "Come here"--
Every time some guy says, "Come here," you do it?
I didn't even pay attention. I was like, "Okay."
- God. - Oh, look at your fucking attitude.
If I was your boyfriend and some guy was like, "Come here,"
I'd be like, "What are you--?" I got to meet your boyfriend.
- He's a sweetie. - I need to talk to that guy--
He's in Vegas right now. He's a good guy.
"Dude-- you have a great girl. Like, if you don't--
if you don't treat her right, I'm going to date your girl."
How can you seriously...?
Oh, "Mandingo"! I'm just kidding.
Give me a hug.
I thought he like found some girl.
I saw him talking to some girl, I was like "Oh, it's a skank ho."
Sky's sad?
No, Sky's fine. Sky's doing great.
Oh, yes! Yes, yes, yes!
Solid, buddy. Hi, beautiful. I'm Matt.
Shit.
- Huh? - At least the twins aren't in here.
We'll change-- we'll change together.
- Hi. - What's up?
Why are we all in here?
Why do you look at him? You got to ask him for advice?
No. Hell no.
We need music. It's essential.
I need music.
Why are you so quiet?
Are you going to pass out soon, or what?
Are you still excited for our date?
It'll be rad.
Laura, come here.
Totally fun. What?
Sorry...
Yo, give me one! Give me one.
Take one for the team!
I've got one in my backpack.
Okay, cool, cool. Cool, cool.
I'm going to do her on the beach. I've never did a girl on the beach.
You are so fucking lucky today, dude.
You are so lucky today. I only had like two left.
Let me put this away before she comes in,
Iike, "What, you think, you're going to get lucky?"
This is so fucked up.
This'll be interesting-- you taking off your socks.
- Let's film that one. - I want to take off my pants.
Oh, man.
Yeah. Oh!
Whoo!
Hey, party pooper, what you doing?
How much have you had to drink, my friend?
- What's your name again? - Natalie.
Come swim down there.
We're wearing clothes. It's okay.
It's not naked. It's not anything more.
- It's okay. - No, I think I'm good.
- Sorry, "Too Cool." - No, I'm not too cool...
I'm just too... drunk.
- Too what? - Drunk.
Too drunk?
You can't be too drunk. Not possible.
- But I am, Natalie. - Not a saying. It's not a word.
No such thing as "too drunk."
Natalie, nice meeting you,
but I'm going upstairs in my room.
All right, well, I don't think so.
Looks like you're going in the ocean. Come on!
No, it's not going to work.
- I said no. - Uh-huh.
Jen!
I'm going to bed.
No!
- Natalie, I'll pay you money. - Good, give me the money.
Let's go.
I just-- I don't know if Matt and l will end up kissing.
Sometimes I feel like I want to.
When you're used to sex three times a day and not getting any,
you're like, "l will fucking hump anything."
You're like, "Give me a pole, baby."
- You're like, "Look at this rail." - "Look at this railing."
But, I'm so sick of people being like,
"You guys hook up yet? When are you going to hook up?"
I'm like, "We have not hooked up."
That's 'cause everybody thinks you'll make a cute couple.
We're just really good friends. We have so much to talk about
because of Arizona-- we go to the same school.
And, yeah, he's gorgeous. I'm not going to lie.
But at the same time, like...
I don't know. I can't. I'm not going to do that.
Oh, God.
You gonna sleep on that bed tonight?
"Will you get out of here? I need to bone Sarah."
Not going to happen.
I'll need a ring, a date, a place and time.
That chick you brought home-- was she in the titty contest?
- Yeah. - Was that the girl?
- Was she the one that won it? - Yeah.
Oh, nice. Damn. I like the classy ones.
I love her.
You said Laura saw you last night?
Wait, you and Laura have a thing going on?
Is she kind of jealous of you 'cause you're hooking up with--
She doesn't say anything to me.
I swear I'll give you 50 bucks if you hook up with Laura again.
- 50 bucks?! Do it. - 50 bucks to hook up with Laura.
I'm so good at lying I could be like,
"Let's just spend the last night together."
Want me to bury you in sand?
I'm mad at you. Don't talk to me.
- Why don't you talk about it? - What?
'Cause you're phony.
I don't see how you do it. I thought you were different.
- That's all. - I mean--
I didn't think you were the "pick-up -a-chick-at-a-club-and-fuck-'em."
I just think it's gross. I think it's fucking disgusting.
'Cause you don't know what-- we don't know what she carrying.
You can go off, but you don't know shit about her.
Baby, that's why I wear protection.
I just got a different impression about you.
- That's cool. - So...
That's cool, but don't be like snobby and shit.
- I can do what I want. - Then it's like, okay.
- I can do what I want. - Yeah, 'cause it's like--
I could ignore you the rest of the trip if that's what I feel.
It's like this. The average guy that say they like me,
they just going to keep trying. They will be persistent.
You gave the fuck up. You said, "l quit.
Sky doesn't want me, let me find somebody else."
Sky, I can't be with you for four days!
I do play hard to get.
It's people that stick into it long enough for the chase.
I asked you that shit. I was like--
I'm not going to tell you everything. Trust me that.
- But see-- - I'm a fucking mystery.
You're not going to know everything. It's your job to find out.
But, you gave up.
You said, "Fuck it, I quit. I don't know where this is going.
- I'm getting mixed signals." - And I asked you!
What did I just tell you? I'm not going to tell everything.
I'm not with the game, Sky. I'm not with it.
That's cool. Like I said, I got a misunderstanding of you.
But--
I don't know. I might be looking too deep into it.
- Can I ask you a question, though? - What?
Had he pursued you for the whole trip
where would it have got him, honestly?
All right, I don't know.
You have to back me up on the chorus.
- I love every song. - Are you ready for the '80s song?
- Yes. - Okay.
& There was a time in our lives &
& That I know we all miss &
& A time when girls would slap &
& Snap bracelets upon their wrists &
& We'd listen to tapes because we didn't have CDs &
& And the guys would fantasize &
& About Ally Sheedy &
& Life was simpler then &
& With Michael Jackson &
& And the Jackson 5... &
I love that.
& And we'd meet at the pub to watch "The Breakfast Club" &
& And we'd feel alive &
& Back in the '80s &
& When all the gentlemen and ladies lived life-- &
& Lived life how it was meant to be &
& Watching "Three's Company" on TV &
& And wouldn't you agree to sell your soul &
& To live back in 1983? &
& Back in the best decade &
& In history. &
Yes! Dude, you're my hero.
Does it kinda suck? You don't have to answer--
but does it kind of suck being the only one that's not drinking?
It does suck, because, you know, like,
I feel like there's this big wall--
Iike the drinkers and then there's me.
And literally it will be like everyone around a table
drinking a margarita or shots or whatever
and then there's me sitting there going like "Yeah."
- Do you want me to stop? I'll stop. - No!
No, no, no. It's not that bad, seriously. No, no, no, no.
- I'm so glad you're here, too. - Same.
- It makes all the difference. - Truth.
Truth!
Do you know how it is after you break up with someone?
You're just in a weird place. Especially after a year and a half.
My first heartbreak was my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend.
I was destroyed. Not only had I lost my boyfriend,
but I lost my best friend. And so-- talk about depression--
I was there at the same time exactly.
Yeah, honestly, I have never ever
experienced something that intense.
- Yeah. - In my entire life.
I really wish-- like people used to ask me before--
you know, "Wow, so have you ever been in love?"
because I'm the kind of guy that would love someone.
And I'd have to say no, because I've never had that opportunity.
- I thought I had two choices. - Yeah.
I could either continue having relationships
and just like-- just have relationships
purely for the physical aspect of it...
- Yeah. - and never open my heart up--
you know, anything like that.
This is-- every decision I make is exactly my own--
I'm not living my life the way that I would like to live it,
but... I mean, l--
I'll probably go through life miserable, you know?
No emotion-- I mean, no attachment, yeah.
So, in order to be happy
I have to open myself up to the opportunity
that I might one day be sad.
The only way you're ever going to succeed
or eventually be happy is if you take a risk.
Exactly.
I mean, if you go through life
not-- trying to protect yourself
and be defensive against anything that will hurt you,
then you live a boring sheltered life--
Yeah, you're not living.
Alan, are you quite the ladies' man?
- I'm the anti-ladies' man. - No, you are the ladies man.
We talked about that last night.
That the girls love you-- that you just need to--
improve your--
- Confidence? - Exactly.
I was thinking about it 'cause I was talking to Matt...
- Um-hmm. -...he was like, "Girls like guys
with the biggest balls. "
The first girl I go up to I'm going to try and just like--
be as confident as possible
and I'll say, "What's up?"
Let's get this party started!
Whoo-oo!
Look at Case, that kid never stops partying.
The kid's going to die before he stops partying.
Whoo!
Hey, you guys, I'm recruiting females for you.
Are you guys ready to have some fun, or what?
- Yeah. - Are you guys sisters?
- Are you guys friends? - Do we look like fucking sisters?
I don't know, man. I want to kiss her.
You want to make out? You want to make out?
God, someone get my name right! I am Roxanne, not Nicole!
Are you ready for a shot?
- I don't-- I don't know. - Yeah.
Diet Pepsi and about to do a body shot!
Welcome to the world of drinking, my friend.
Down there. Down there. You got some. Yeah!
- Whoo! - Yeah!
Fuck!
Diet Pepsi in the house!
- What's your name? - I'm Erica.
Alan in the house.
- One more shot. - Yeah!
I'm not drunk.
You're not drunk? You can't open your fucking eyes.
You need to slow down!
- You'll party with me, right? - Definitely.
- I will party with you tonight. - Then fucking seal that on a kiss.
You've got to seal it on a kiss.
You won't make out with me, why's that?
I can't just make out with someone.
- You know me now, though. - No-- yeah, I know you--
We're here. We're here.
Me and you, we're here.
You know me, I know you.
I got hair on my finger.
Cancun! Cancun! Cancun! Cancun! Cancun!
All right, listen up. This is what we're going to do.
We need the contestants for the "Hot Body" contest here now!
The prize is $1 50 for the guy that wins.
Are you kidding? I don't want to do this.
Yo! Yo! We got the first one coming out right now!
Everybody-- Casey!
This isn't fair, man.
Everybody, give it up for Matt!
Show us what you got! Oh!
Nigel!
Next is Jaz. Jaz, show us what you got!
Last, but certainly not least...
Alan!
& One, two, three, four &
- & Get up & - & Get on up &
- & Stay on the scene & - & Get on up &
- & Like a sex machine & - & Get on up &
- & Get up & - & Get on up &
- & Stay on the scene & - & Get on up &
- & Like a sex machine & - & Get on up &
- & Get up & - & Get on up &
- & Stay on the scene & - & Get on up &
& Can we hit it like we did one more time? &
Take it off! Take it off!
All right, we need to figure out
who's got the hot body out of all these guys.
We win by crowd approval,
so we want to hear who you want to win.
We have contestant number one.
Contestant number two.
Contestant number three.
Contestant number four!
Contestant number five!
Contestant number six.
Alan! Alan! Alan!
Show these guys who lives here, dude.
I live here, fuckos.
Hello, my name's Alan.
Yes. Yes.
Alan, hey! Baby, jump.
Don't do it. Don't do it.
& Just a urchin living under the street &
& I'm a hard case that's tough to beat &
& I'm your charity case, buy me something to eat &
& I'll pay you at another time &
& Take it to the end of the line &
& Take me down to the Paradise City &
& Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty &
& Oh, won't you please take me home? &
& Yeah, yeah... &
I have a question to ask you.
Don't talk like this.
You want to go out on a date?
I love this kid. I love this kid.
& Take me down to the Paradise City &
& Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty &
& Take me home &
& Yeah, yeah &
& Take me down to the Paradise City &
& Where the grass is green and the girls are pretty &
& Oh won't you please take me home? &
- This is crazy. - Give me a hit off that cig, man.
Cancun!
We saw you making out with her.
We see it all.
I might have maybe gave her a peck on the check.
That's bullshit.
A "peck"-- yeah.
No, you did, dawg.
Don't corrupt him. Look at him.
Alan's fucked. You are so drunk.
- I am not drunk. - You love it, too.
"Sally sells seashells by the seashore." See?
Wow, that was impressive.
That was impressive 'cause I'm an impressive guy.
Feeling my nipples.
You know, I want to spend the last couple of hours
with you before you leave.
Just enjoy the last bit of time...
I'm gonna be with you, you know?
Do you feel the same way,
or are you like, "Whatever"?
Where's the love? Where is the love?
Let me whisper something to you.
- What? - Bend down.
Oh yeah.
Tonight-- tonight we have to party.
I won't even sleep tonight.
That was my last meal since I'm here.
I'm just going to drink all day.
I'm not sleeping neither.
& This is who I am and this is what I like &
& GC, Sum and Blink and MxPx rocking my room &
& If you're looking for me I'll be at the show &
& I can never find a better place to go &
& Until the day I die, I promise I won't change &
& So you better give up, I don't want to be told to grow up &
& And I don't want to change, I just want to have fun &
& I don't want to be told to grow up &
& And I don't want to change so you better give up &
& 'Cause I'm not gonna change, I don't want to grow up... &
Everybody scream!
& I don't want to be told to grow up &
& Grow up, grow up &
& I don't want to be told to grow up &
& Grow up, grow up &
& Yeah &
& I don't want to be told to grow up &
& And I don't want to change, I just want to have fun &
& I don't want to be told to grow up &
& And I don't want to change so you better give up &
& 'Cause I'm not gonna change, so you better give up &
& No, I'm not gonna change I don't want to grow up. &
Have a good time tonight, Cancun.
I love Mexico!
So fucking messed up.
Come here-- oh...
I want to remember today. Big last day, I want to remember it.
I don't know how you feel-- like, everything that happened yesterday.
It's cool. We talked about it. We settled it.
Are going to come back and hang out with us tonight?
I don't know. I got to ask Alan.
- Is he up there? - Yeah.
I fucked up, you know what I'm saying?
So I understand where she's coming from.
I respect that.
We did it all. Who cares, man?
I think he will ask me, but I don't know.
Are you ready?
We want Snoop! We want Snoop!
All the way from Long Beach, California...
the one and only, Snoop Dogg.
Yo, I'm gonna do this not just for the ladies,
but for all of the beautiful ladies in the house tonight.
'Cause I see a whole bunch of-- ooh-whee!
That's "Ooh-whee! Preach!"
"Preach" is what the prophet said.
This next record is for all the beautiful ladies.
I'm pretty sure you've heard this record before.
And if you haven't heard it, it goes a little something like this.
& Oh-oh-oh-oh... &
& Yeah, yeah, yeah... &
Y'all know the words to this shit right here?
& Oh-oh-oh-oh... &
I can't hear you. Can y'all sing it louder?
& Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... &
Well, if you know the words to it, sing it like-- sing it like this.
& Beautiful &
& Just want you to know you're my favorite girl... &
Can we get some ladies on stage right now?
& When I see my baby boo, shit, I get foolish &
& I'll smack a nigga that tries to pursue it &
& Homeboy, she's taken, just move it &
& I asked you nicely, don't make the Dogg lose it &
& We just blow 'dro and keep the flow moving &
& In a '64, me and baby boo cruising &
& Body rag interior blue &
& And have them hydraulics squeaking when we screwing &
& Now she's yelling, hollering out "Snoop" &
& And hooting, hollering, hollering, hooting &
& Black and beautiful, you're the one I'm choosing &
& Your hair long and black and curly like you're Cuban &
& Keep grooving that's what we're doing &
& And we gonna be together until your moms move in... &
Everybody sing this shit for all the beautiful ladies. Come on.
& Beautiful &
& I just want you to know that you're my favorite girl... &
I can't hear you!
& Beautiful &
& I just want you to know you're my favorite girl &
& There's something about you, you're so beautiful &
& See, I just want you &
& To know that you are really special... &
Everybody clap your hands to this, come on.
& Oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why? &
Everybody clap your hands.
Everybody just clap your hands. Come on.
& Oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why? &
& See, I just want you &
& To know that you are really special &
& Oh why, oh why, oh why, oh why? &
I want to thank all the beautiful ladies
that's going to come and holler at me when I get off stage.
Love, y'all. I'm done.
I'm so trashed, man.
Paul!
- Paul. - Hi, Paul. I'm Cindy.
Hi, you look fly, Cindy.
Get the hot tub cracking, Matt.
Where's it at? You already fucked up.
- Don't push the things, though. - Yeah, I know. Cindy!
I think Matt and that girl went into the shower together.
Ooh-whee!
& Smoke it and stroke it and shake it like I broke it &
& When I drop my funky booty on the ground &
& I like, get down! &
Sarah. Sarah!
Fuck!
- Is it cold? - It's warming up.
Let me see.
You know what?
Did you ever take a bath in the sea at night?
Me either.
- Yeah, I don't know. - What do you think?
What, naked?
- Naked. - Naked?
Sure. You got to go naked.
No, nobody gets naked.
That's ridiculous.
I feel stupid for even trying to fucking--
it's not like anything would have happened
ever between us, but-- fuck. What a fucking skank is he?
You know, I have the best fucking boyfriend at home.
The best fucking boyfriend who treats me like a fucking princess,
and who is the best person in the whole world.
And, you know, it's like--
I never would have hooked up with Matt anyway, ever,
and I'm glad, thank God, I didn't do it.
I thank God. I thank fucking God
that I didn't do anything with Matt. Not a goddamn thing.
I don't feel bad. I'm going home
to the best person in the fucking world tomorrow.
- Yeah. - I'm gonna put some clothes on.
I'll be downstairs.
I misplaced where you put your e-mail address.
I think the girls put it here. Yes.
Okay. I'm gonna leave you mine.
Here, this is my street.
My name, my street, my zip code, my e-mail address.
- How do you pronounce this? - Julia.
Do you say, "Joo-lia," or do you say, "Hyoo-lia"?
- Julia. - You say "Yoo-lia"?
- Yes, very good. - Okay.
Okay.
- "Yoo-lia. " - Yeah, cool.
& Baby, when I've fallen asleep &
& I think about you, do you think about me? &
& Tell me if you want to get close &
& Closer to the fire, closer to me. &
Sarah. Sarah.
Come here. Just talk to me.
- It's different. - It's not different.
Five minutes?
Don't like what I have to say, you don't have to talk to me again.
- Five minutes. - You know what I'd do, honestly?
- Five minutes. - Just start talking now.
Five minutes. Five minutes.
Okay, that's fine. So you know I had five minutes.
Fuck!
- Where you from? - Arizona.
Sarah. Sarah!
- Please talk to me. - Matt.
I know, I know. Please.
- No. - Please.
- Two minutes. - What?
What the fuck does that mean?
Sarah. Sarah! Case, stop.
- Don't touch me. - I'm not going to if you stop.
- Come back. - Move. Matt, move.
Don't touch me. Don't touch me.
I don't care. She has a boyfriend. That's her fault.
- But still-- - I know I fucked up.
You played the game the whole week, then the last day--
You know what, dude? I can't fucking wait that long.
Casey, I cannot wait that long, dude.
I've been watching you guys all fucking week.
I can't do it. I just need to talk to her...
- There's nothing you can say... -...for five minutes.
Nothing you can say. She doesn't want to talk about it.
Shit, dude-- 24 hours, that's all I need.
I punched a hole through the fucking thing.
& Looks like I'm out of luck &
& 'Cause she's got me so damn stuck &
& Wish I never met her just want to forget her &
& But she keeps coming at me... &
Matt, you are such a fucking asshole.
- No, fuck you. - No, fuck you, Matt.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
You see that?
&... Till I open my eyes &
& Now I just want to get away from her... &
Oh, wait-- "l have a boyfriend"? Okay, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I do, and he's 100 times better than you, Matt.
Matt, why are you treating me like this?
What did you say to me when we were sitting outside?
I said, I'm tired of your fucking boyfriend.
I don't care, Matt. You don't say "fuck you"
to somebody you spent a week like we've been doing night and day
- for a piece of ass. - Fuck you.
Matt, for a piece of ass you're never going to see again.
You had 24 hours.
Ooh.
&...I just want to get away from her. &
There's two people down there.
There's a couple people down there.
There's a couple people over there.
This is so cool.
Because you told me that you like the Celtic language
and stuff like that, these are Celtic symbols and a bracelet.
- Are you giving this to me? - Yeah.
Don't lose it.
- I won't. - Okay.
& Yeah &
& Whoo, yeah &
& Whoo-- yeah &
& Whoo, yeah &
& It takes two to make a thing go right &
& Whoo, yeah &
& It takes two to make it out of sight &
& Whoo, yeah &
& It takes two to make a thing go right &
& Yeah &
& It takes two to make it out of sight. &
That's a French kiss. You never heard that?
I'm doing with tongues.
Yeah, you use your tongue. That's a French kiss.
- That's a tongue kiss. - You call it a "tongue kiss"?
- Yeah. - You call a French kiss "kissing"?
I do, yeah.
What about French fries? Do you call them French fries?
& I want to rock right now &
& I'm Rob Base and I came to get down &
& I'm not internationally known &
& But I'm known to rock the microphone &
& Because I get stupid-- I mean, outrageous &
& Stay away from me if you're contagious &
& 'Cause I'm a winner, no, not a loser &
& To be an MC is what I choose-ah. &
You don't call them French fries?
Yeah, we call them French fries, but--
& It takes two to make... &
& It takes two to make-- it takes two to make &
& It takes two to make... &
& One, two, three-- get loose now. &
I never did that. That's so cool.
I know.
I think it's just so cool here because the water's turquoise.
Look at the moon. Wow.
- It's amazing. - I know, look at that.
Wow, what an eventful night.
I think it was, like, it was all the emotions
that have been pent up this whole week
just fucking-- exploded.
Stupidest thing I've done in my life, man.
You win some, you lose some.
That was a fucking great one to lose.
I did some things that I might have otherwise not done
unless I was in this situation and this setting.
If I could live this week over again,
I wouldn't change anything.
Why you all in my "get ready" area?
You have your own room.
All good things must come to an end.
It's not the end.
It's just the beginning, homie. Just the beginning.
You guys, best goddamn spring break ever.
Hell, yeah.
& Happy endings &
& Just what did you do? If you're a dream, then come true &
& Stop pretending &
& That what you mean isn't what you say &
& Hopeful dreaming &
& Round and round and round we go again &
- & You-- & - & You ask me what went wrong &
- & Me-- & - & I'll write you this last song &
- & Please-- & - & Just tell me &
& One way we can win &
& Happy endings &
& That you mean isn't what you say... &
The image of you shaking your ass
in that fucking bikini, man--
It will always remain in my head.
- Spring break legend. - You're a sweet legend in my world.
This sucks. I don't want to go.
& She walks away &
& She talks away... &
Thanks.
- This is Julia? - Yeah.
Everybody left. Everybody left.
She thought we weren't going to leave till 1 2:30.
- We're leaving early. - Leave her a note.
& Happy endings &
& Of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same &
& Loving, leaving &
& Round and round and round we go again &
& Happy endings. &
Tell these guys who lives here, dude.
I live here, fuckos.
& This is who I am and this is what I like &
& GC, Sum and Blink and MxPx rocking my room &
& If you're looking for me I'll be at the show... &
& Word up to the bitches and all the ho's &
& All these motherfuckers loving my flows &
& Because my name's Alan Taylor, I'm "Big Al-C" &
& All these motherfuckers want to fuck with me. &
& I don't want to be told to grow up &
& And I don't wanna change, I just wanna have fun &
& I don't want to be told to grow up &
& And I don't wanna change so you better give up &
& 'Cause I'm not gonna change, I don't wanna grow up... &
Hey, you kids ready to learn?
Yeah!
Well, all right then.
& STDs &
& It's a disease &
& Bring you down to your knees, which is how you got them &
& In the first place-- STDs. &
& I'm immature, but l will stay this way forever &
& Till the day I die I promise I won't change. &
- Mama works hard. - All right...
- Are you guys going to the pool? - Yeah. Come hop in.
All right, cool. Can we get naked, Roxanne?
'Cause I want to bang you so bad.
I got this midget fantasy. Don't ask me why, man.
I got this midget fantasy that's out of this world.
Seriously. Man, they've got the biggest asses I've ever seen.
- You ever seen a midget's ass? - No.
- Oh, dude. - She ain't got--
Sky ain't got nothing on a midget ass.
Come on, Alan.
Alan, wipe your vagina off and let's do a fucking shot.
Speaking of taking your tampon out...
Yo, did you hear what I did to her boyfriend?
- Yeah. - What happened?
That girl was hot. With the red-- you see that?
They're all hot up there. This is the finals.
Fuck.
I haven't "kersplooged" in like, a week.
- Relax, bro'. - My balls are the size of melons.
Relax, bro'.
Paul's gonna have a "No-Grit Dick" commercial.
He's gonna be like,
"You want to be hung like me?
Don't eat grits."
Grits is going to like discontinue.
Guys are going to be like, "I'm not eating grits.
I'm trying to be hung like Paul."
&...I don't wanna change so you better give up &
& 'Cause I'm not gonna change, I don't want to grow up... &
Do you know who we have in our hotel right now?
We have Snoop Dogg in our hotel right now.
- You have what? - Snoop Dogg.
- A loose dog? - Snoop-- Snoop Dogg.
What's that?
& Do you think that I could get some, chickie-chickie? &
& Maybe gets a little finger sticky-sticky? &
& You my electric Kool-Aid lip balm flavor &
& I gots ta do ya till the next song saves ya &
& And can I get a little "zip-zip, lookie-lookie"? &
& Maybe just a little "uh-uh, nookie-nookie"? &
& Hey, what'cha say? It doesn't matter anyway &
& You won't do another 'cause you're getting with me &
& She got the power of the hoochie &
& I got a fever for the flavor of the coochie &
& And did I mention, hey pay attention &
& Gonna take that booty to the nudie dimension &
& I got the green glow under my car &
& I got the "boom-boom" system you can hear real far &
& Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey &
& Oh pretty-pretty shy, whoop, whoop &
& What do I have to say &
& To get inside, girl? &
& What do I have to say? &
& I got the fever for the flavor of a coochie &
& Yo hey ma, yo hey ma, yo hey ma-ma-ma hoochie &
& I got the fever for the flavor of a coochie &
& Yo hey ma, yo hey ma, yo hey ma-ma-ma hoochie &
& Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop &
& Whoop, whoop, whoop, go &
& Boom-boom, listen you can hear real far &
& Oh hey, hey, hey hey, hey, hey &
& Oh pretty-pretty shy, whoop, whoop &
& Oh hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey &
& Oh pretty-pretty fly, whoop, whoop &
& What do I have to say &
& To get inside, girl? &
& What do I have to say? &
& I got a fever for the flavor of a coochie &
& Yo hey ma, yo hey ma, yo hey ma-ma-ma hoochie &
& Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop &
& Whoop, whoop-- go! &
& All around the world &
& Hey, girls, hey, girls &
& Your zippers and your pearls &
& Hey, girls &
& All around the world. &